


Home Again Home Again Jiggety-Jig

by Tiresias



Series: Sanctuary [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Like, Porn with Feelings, Sanctuary 'verse, There is also sex, and can't stop touching each other, so many feelings, they makeout
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 18:17:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6868171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiresias/pseuds/Tiresias
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens after Bucky and Lily leave the bar and go home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home Again Home Again Jiggety-Jig

Driving back to the house with Lily sitting in the seat next to me is one of the hardest things I’ve done. All I want to do is reach out and touch her, hold her, kiss her—

Eyes on the road, Barnes!

The car wobbles a little as I correct the wheel. Lily snorts quietly. I give my head a rueful shake and I grin. I can’t seem to stop grinning. I can taste Lily on my lips and I can smell her in the car and if I just reached out a little—

A small warm hand brushes against my tightly clenched one.

Lily.

I look over at her, just a glimpse, and she’s staring at me like she’s half-afraid I’m going to disappear but she’ll take that leap anyway because she loves me so much.

_Lily._

God, but she’s the best woman I’ve ever known. So strong, so brave, so—

I can’t stand it anymore. I keep my eyes on the road and my left hand on the steering wheel but I reach out with my right, trusting Lily to know what to do.

She does. God help me, she always does.

Our entwined hands now sit on her lap and it hurts how good it feels. 

I’m never going to get enough of her, am I?

Hell no I’m not.

I squeeze her hand gently. She squeezes back. Neither of us have said anything since we got in the car but it doesn’t matter. Talking might push us over the edge and I really don’t want to make a scene and pull the car over just because I can’t hold it together until we get home.

Home.

Where I can have Lily in my arms, Lily on my lips again, Lily Lily Lily—

My breathing’s harsher now but damn me if I can slow it down. I need her so bad, need to hold her again, need to make sure she’s safe and mine—

Lily’s thumb starts to rub gently over my fingers and I feel it like a brand of fire. I push down on the gas harder. We need to be home. Right now.

As I tear into the driveway my cell phone starts going nuts, blaring an alarm like the world is ending. I slam on the brakes and tear it out of my pocket. I know that alarm, I know what that means—

Perimeter breach.

‘What’s wrong?’ Lily asks, voice calm, but her nerves betrayed by the tightness of her muscles.

I grab a gun from the small of my back.

‘Someone just breached the perimeter with a whole load of weapons. Lily, stay with me and—‘ Lily’s barely paying attention to me, all her focus on the gun in my hand. After everything that happened with Hydra on the mountaintop she’s been gun-shy, and I can’t blame her, but right now I need to keep her safe.

‘Lily!’ She startles.

‘Sorry!’ She says quickly. ‘But, Bucky? How many guns do you have?’

‘Enough,’ I snarl as I get out of the car. We’re too exposed, anyone could come out of those woods—

‘Would you say it’s a whole load of weapons?’ Lily asks cautiously.

I think of the assorted grenades, automatics, hell, even the rocket launcher I picked up along the way. Yeah, Lily. I’d call it a whole load of weapons. Whatever her point is, though, we don’t have time—

‘Because we did just drive through the perimeter. And—‘

Damn it.

I stop restlessly scanning the woods.

Damn me to hell, I just went crazy over my own weapons! I feel like the world’s biggest idiot and the adrenaline shooting through my system isn’t helping.

God damn it.

My shoulders slump a little but I can’t let it go that quickly. I can’t go sloppy, not now, not when I have something to protect—

I pull Lily into a fierce hug first, though. Hell if I can figure out what she did to deserve to get stuck with a wreck like me. She clings back with surprising strength.

‘I’m sorry, Lily.’ I manage to say. ‘I…’

She shakes her head where it’s pressed into my chest. ‘I don’t care. I’d rather us be safe than not.’ She pulls back to look up at me. ‘You can put me back in the car, up a tree, keep me with you—anything you need to make sure we’re safe. Okay?’

Okay?

Jesus Christ, Lily, you’re a whole lot better than okay. 

Because I need that. I need to keep her safe. And even though I know it was my own guns that set the alarm off, I have to go check everything out now, have to check and doublecheck and recheck—

I pull her in tight again. She wiggles against me and sighs happily. The tension in my shoulders rachets down a notch. 

‘We’ll drive the car to the house. You stay in it while I check everything there. Then you’ll stay in the house while I do a sweep.’ Guilt, shame, and a bone-deep surge of protectiveness fight inside me. I’m a wreck, a mess, I need too much—

‘Got it.’ Lily says firmly. She lets go of me and marches back to her side of the car and gets in.

God. My legs feel shaky but I know they’re rock solid. I’ll pay any price for the rest of my life if I get to keep her.

I get in the car. I drive cautiously up to the house but nothing seems out of place. Lily nods decisively at me when I open my door and her hands are steady when I pass her my pistol. She swallows hard, though. She’s not comfortable with it, but she knows I need her to have it.

The house is as I left it a month ago. Even the bullet-ridden couches are still there. I push aside all thoughts that aren’t about Lily’s safety as I scan the rooms but nothing’s out of place, even the gun I left Lily is still sitting on her nightstand.

I go back out to the car and escort Lily inside. She either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care that all my attention is on the woods, the concealing trees.

‘Lock the door,’ I say in a low voice as she steps inside. I stick around only long enough to hear the click.

The woods are cool and quiet as I ghost along the ground. I circle the perimeter then spiral inward, checking every square foot for danger. There is none, but my anxiety won’t subside. I’d been away too long, left Lily alone too long, I have to keep her safe, have to be near her—

I’m at the front door of the house before I know it. I snort to myself when I realize that I’ll have to knock. Damn it, should have thought this though.

I knock.

‘Lily, it’s me.’ 

She opens it with a half-smile. ‘I feel we could be more paranoid about this. Shouldn’t we have a secret knock? Code words?’ Her tone is joking but I know she’s serious. She’s ready to do that for me. For us.

I shut the door behind me and lock it again. Don’t fall on her like a starving animal, Jesus Christ, Barnes hold it together.

‘Just so long as it isn’t ‘shave and a haircut,’’ I manage to say. Lily snorts. 

‘Anything but that.’ She looks at me nervously. I’m still keeping my distance and it’s worrying her.

To hell with that.

I take the two steps that are between us and I lift her into my arms again like we did when we first saw each other at that bar. Lily keens under her breath, so softly she might not even realize she’s doing it. The sound cuts straight through me and I can’t breathe, can’t breathe unless it’s to breathe her in—

I fill my lungs with the smell of her hair, the tang of her sweat, the gentle clean smell of the kitchen. All of it is Lily and I need it all.

I’d messed up before with the perimeter alarm and it changed the atmosphere between us. Before, in the car, we’d barely been keeping it together we needed to touch each other so bad, needed that spark of pleasure to explode into flame. 

It’s different now. We still need to touch but it’s more for reassurance that we’re both still here, still safe, still alive.

Home.

It’s hard to believe that we were both home.

It’s hard to think clearly with Lily in my arms. I don’t want to think about anything but her and even considerations about where we should go next are dim and annoying. I could stand here with her in my arms forever and not be tired.

Lily wouldn’t let me, though.

_Lily._

Her head butts against my shoulder. ‘Couch.’

‘Couch,’ I agree with a sigh. With my left hand under her hips to keep her up and my right hand tangled in the hair at the nape of her neck I carry her over to the couch but once there I’m reluctant to let her go.

So I don’t.

I shuffle backwards until my legs hit the couch and then I sit with Lily in my lap, still wrapped around me.

She giggles and snuggles closer.

Dear God. Just the bare thought that I get to have this…

 _Mine_ , an unholy snarl echoes through my ribcage. _Mine._

Yes. Mine.

I let my lips slide over her hair, press butterfly kisses to the crown of her head. She sighs and her hands twitch on my shoulders where they lay.

‘Bucky,’ she murmurs.

‘Lily,’ I gravel in between kisses. ‘Have to see you, have to—‘

At the urging of my hands she sits upright, just barely taller than me when sitting in my lap. Her cheeks glow pink with a red flush at the top. She’s smiling at me, and my heart constricts.

Mine.

Hers.

I’m all hers.

All of a sudden I want her to claim me, mark me, own me—someone I chose and who chose me back, someone I could own and belong to in turn.

_Lily._

But how? This need is too big, too violent for her to have anything to do with it. I need scratches, bites, bruises—proof, proof that this is real, that I can have this.

Lily must read the desperation on my face because she lifts a hand to cover one side of my face.

‘What is it? What can I do?’ Her tone is urgent, loving.

_Lily._

‘Touch me,’ I finally say. ‘Make this real.’ I plead, and there’s too much emotion in my voice, too much truth, but Lily hears me. Understands me.

How does she always do that?

She leans in and kisses my forehead. My lips part involuntarily. I want to be kissing her, tasting her—

Her other hand comes up to frame the other side of my face as she slowly kisses downward, little soft caresses that make me shift under her, hungry for more. Her lips avoid mine once they get far enough down and I can’t help but growl. She laughs against my jawline.

‘We’ll get there,’ she promises, and I rumble with discontent this time, making her laugh again. ‘Shhh,’ she urges. ‘We’ll get there.’

I realize I’m smiling as my head tilts back against the couch. Smiling wide and free and _happy—_

Lily’s hands smooth down my neck onto my shoulders and I cut off a needy whine. 

Damn, Barnes, she hasn’t even done anything yet.

Lily pauses, considering something. I don’t know if I should be nervous or grateful. Lily always manages to surprise me. 

She swallows hard. ‘Can…can I take your shirt off?’ she asks hesitantly, plucking at the cotton beneath her fingers.

My mouths goes dry. Her skin on my skin…I nod quickly. Yes. Yes. Please.

Lily smiles cautiously, hopefully, as she sits back to give me room to take my shirt off. I strip it hastily, tossing it aside and not caring where it lands.

Lily.

She gets her hands back on my shoulders but she doesn’t move, just sits back and _looks_ at me. I want to squirm, want to look away. Don’t look at me, don’t see me—

But Lily’s never seen me the way I see me. She looks at my scars, my damage and it’s like she doesn’t even notice it, but that’s not true. She sees it like the few freckles I have—just something that makes me…me. 

‘I’m sorry,’ she says breathily with a self-deprecating laugh. ‘I just…I get to look at you now. I didn’t want to before, didn’t want to take something you weren’t giving—‘

No, I did all those shirtless workouts just for me, not for you at all: certainly not to see if you’d look at me, to test if you liked what you saw. 

‘I am,’ I say. ‘I was…please…’ I can’t help asking again. I feel like I’m about to come out of my skin. I need her hands on me, need the pressure keeping me in my body, keeping me _here—_

But Lily is always full of surprises, good ones all. She takes her hands off my shoulders only to shift them to my left arm. My breath catches in my throat. Is she going to…?

My heart pounds as she kisses the tips of my fingers and slides her mouth up and up each articulated joint of my hand. She caresses it and plays with it like she did that day over a month ago when I’d finally been brave enough to let her touch it, let her see me as I was. And it didn’t matter that I only have limited pressure sensing in that arm—it was the most intimate, pleasurable, and yes—erotic moment of my new life. If I hadn’t had my t-shirt off in my right hand doing strategic genital coverage, Lily would have gotten an eyeful of how much I liked what she was doing.

Kind of like now.

Only she’s on top of me.

Shifting…

I can feel heat creep up my neck and into my cheeks. Lily’s moved up the arm to the shoulder, touching the divide between flesh and metal. She never got this far before…

She kisses the scarring on my shoulder and her tongue tentatively flicks out to taste my skin. I shudder. God that feels so good…

She pulls back and I nearly whine. Where are you going, Lily? Come back…

She doesn’t go far, she just picks up my right hand and does everything she did before to my left. She flexes my fingers and kisses each one. She rotates my wrist and strokes over each inch of flesh as she works higher and higher…

My head spins under this onslaught of sensation. It’s more than I ever thought to want and it’s not enough, not enough—

Lily’s hands and mouth finally migrate to my chest, gently stroking and caressing every part of me. Her fingers trail around my nipples, rubbing them into peaks. I nearly gasp for air. I’m rock hard in my jeans and it all feels so good, so good—

I do my best to hold on, to let Lily explore to her heart’s content, but it’s hard, so hard—

Ha—

I know I should try to concentrate on something else, try to focus on anything that would keep me from losing control, but I don’t want to. I want _this._

Eventually Lily is stroking down my abs, running her hands over the bumps and ridges that I can’t help but flex with every breath. She makes a curious considering noise as the muscles move under her fingers and she presses a little harder, getting a feel for it.

The pressure goes straight to my dick and I can’t take any more.

‘Lily, Lily—I need to kiss you, I have to—‘ I’m too desperate for anything but deep consuming kisses but Lily responds like a dream. She’s a fast learner and as good as she makes it for me, I burn to make it even better for her. 

I pull her close to me, reveling in the feel of her body flush against mine. I slow my kisses but I keep them deep, unable to tell her in words what I’m feeling, but this—I can show her like this.

Lily shivers in my arms and my whole body tries to rise and meet her, surround her, _keep her—_

The two of us moan into the kiss as my hips jerk upwards and push my throbbing dick against her. Lily’s legs tighten around me as she makes a considering noise and almost grinds down against me but she stops and flushes. She looks away and starts to pull back.

I tighten my hands around her hips to keep her in place. ‘Anything you want, Lily. Anything.’

So many emotions flit across Lily’s face. Curiosity. Desire. Fear. Embarrassment. They finally settle on stubborn. ‘But what about what you want?’

My heart lurches in my chest. What I want? Oh, Lily, what I _want_ …

I lick my lips and force myself to speak the truth. ‘I want everything. I could take and take and take…’ My eyes caress her as I trail off, my voice strangled by my heated need. ‘But I don’t want to take.’ I hitch her closer to me again, and pleasure shoots through me and flickers across her face as I whisper, ‘I want to give. Let me give this to you Lily. I want you to have this. Just let me…’ I tug at the bottom of her shirt, giving her the final yea or nay.

Lily pauses, considers, then lifts her chin bravely and nods at me.

Oh Lily…

I carefully lift it off of her, not letting her arms get tangled up in it. ‘Just this,’ I whisper to her. ‘Just this.’ I set the shirt to one side, surprised that my hands aren’t shaking with the force of what I feel for her.

I’ve seen Lily in different states of dress before, but never with the permission to look. To take. To _give_. Her bra is still on and will be staying on, we’re going to do this gently, so gently…but her skin–

God it _glows._

My right hand shakes as I bring it up to the skin over her collarbone. It’s so soft…Lily tilts her head and nuzzles into my hand, her eyes catching mine, bright and fierce with love.

‘I love you,’ I have to say. Have to say it so many times to make up for all the times I didn’t.

‘Love you,’ Lily says back, still nuzzling at my hand outstretched over her shoulder. I shudder. It feels so good, so good—

Keep it together Barnes. We’re on a mission here.

Right. Right.

I’ve learned a few things about Lily during our time together. The first thing I learned is that her first instinct is to give, to comfort, to help. She’ll never take anything for herself unless she’s almost forced to.

God, the difficulty I had looking after her when she’d been _shot—_

The second thing I’ve learned is that her mind is always going, always racing, always thinking. It makes her one of the smartest people I know, but she can’t relax for anything.

The trick, I’ve learned, is to keep her off balance, don’t give her the time to think too much or she’ll talk herself out of feeling good.

That’s not going to happen now.

I want this. Want to give her this.

So I pair the nudges of my hips with the movement of my hands, one then the other, keeping her guessing at where the pleasure will come from next. She tries to hold it off, tries to figure it out, tries to concentrate but I shake my head at her.

‘Shhh, relax,’ I whisper as I stroke up and down her arms. ‘This is for you, you’re so beautiful, so good, want to make you feel good—‘ Lily blushes and fidgets but I can see the pleasure getting to her, wrapping her up in sensations that blur her eyes and cause soft moans to fall out of her throat. I pull her in and kiss delicately up the column of her neck. I turn my head too quick and scrape my stubble over the sensitive skin but she only moans louder and rocks herself against me.

Fire pulses in my groin and my control is hanging by a thread. I want to thrust, want to push, want to feel—but I keep my rhythm steady with short firm nudges upward, directing her hips down with my hands. 

‘Bucky,’ she pants. ‘So. Good.’

My desire is a jangling string, pulled so tight it could almost snap. My stomach clenches as pleasure sparks through me.

‘Lily,’ I groan back. ‘Make you feel so good, love you, love—‘ I deliberately rub my cheek up her neck at the same time as I hold her hips down and grind upward. Lily gasps and comes—rocking and shaking and whimpering with the force of her own pleasure.

Her quiet cries spur me on and I can’t hold back the force of my thrusts any more. I hold her body tight to mine—

Mine, all mine—

–and she throws her arms over my shoulders, whispers into my neck, ‘Love you Bucky, love you—‘ and I’m coming, my breath ragged and gasping, my sight whited out from the lancing molten desire that spreads through every muscle until everything that I am is warm and floating.

I kiss against the side of Lily’s face, too uncoordinated for anything else. She nuzzles closer and manages to catch my mouth with hers. We’re both blissed out and shaky but that only gives us the excuse to hold each other tighter. 

‘Love you,’ I slur into her cheek.

‘Mmm, love you too,’ Lily hums.

In a minute I’ll get enough strength back in my legs to bring the both of us upstairs so we can go to sleep. Lily will cuddle on top of me and I’ll sleep better than I have all month. 

Tomorrow she’ll sleep in and I’ll try to sneak away so I can make her breakfast before she wakes up. It’ll be hard to manage. She always wakes up when I leave.

Those are things to do later. For now I hold Lily tight, so grateful to finally be home.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like this could be better but it was my first time writing porn so 'shrugs' 'runs away'
> 
> 'runs back'
> 
> Oh hey, I've got a new story up, Time and Again. You should check it out. :)


End file.
